Sunday, April 5, 2015

I'll order the boots soon

 earrings - JBC GOODS
necklace -
bandeau from a friend @ some point in highschool
Chanel jacket thrifted
skirt thrifted
belt ebay
Imagine I'm wearing this with cobalt blue PVC calf boots

 Isn't it weird that I have no necklaces and no rings and no nails?

B agressive, B B agressive

Having some epitomes recently about self-representation.. I grew up acting and was often warned not to tell other actors or anyone on set what to do, you worry about your job and basically do whatever you're told to fulfill the vision for the play or project or whatever. You don't put your two cents in, you're there as a component of a larger vision that ultimately is not yours. Because of this, I've subconsciously maintained that mindset frequently when I participate in other people's projects - if I don't like my makeup or the music or the set up I just suck it up and do it because hey, this isn't my project, I'm just in it. Which seems logical and respectful and all, but ultimately in most-and not all- of the situations I'm in, it's unnecessary. I have good taste. People like and welcome my opinion so why so often do I feel pressured to withhold it? Who does that serve? I remember when I first started hanging out with one of my friends, Jessi, I went on a shoot with her and she went into the bathroom after they did her makeup and basically completely redid it herself... I was shocked- but looked a lot better. She didn't change the look, she just matched it to her skin tone better and improved shading on her eyes and such. No one was upset about it or even noticed, she felt loads better, and the photos looked great. This week I shot my friend Luna for NIN3 and after I edited the photos I sent them to her and she told me about some parts that I should fix, and I did, and they looked way better after that. I've never done that when someone shoots me, if I don't like the photos I kind of just put them out of my head and don't post them anywhere. Now I'm realizing, hey... I can do that too and it can be a win for everyone. I'm also trying to be even more selective with the projects I participate in. I need to take control of my image and all the creative aspects of my life - wether it's my project or not, if someone decided to include me, they probably want me to bring my whole self :K


Tuesday, February 24, 2015

good 4 u

 jaquette- ebay
dress- thrifted
necklace- by tania from synchrodogs & top necklace by tunnel vision
earring- NIN3
shoes- harley davidson from ebay
im leaving to israel on saturday


Thursday, February 19, 2015

i meant it

when i said I'd love you forever
tell me one more time


Wednesday, February 18, 2015

O Captain, I Captain

collar- mom & sis got for me when they went to japan w/o me rude
top - thrifted
skirt- rose bowl
i forgot to take photos of my shoes aww. well, they're new. theyre velvetesque clunky 70esque blackmary jane big platforms.
Although I do believe I've found myself in LA and this is my home, I have for some time felt a bit lost in myself and confused, and I felt envy towards past versions of me even though I've perpetually felt that way, and I know that it's ridiculous because future me will think the same that present me thinks of past-me, so technically I am exactly the version of me that I wish to be, according to future-me. Anyways. I feel settled again. I mean, I never feel fully settled, but at least I feel like Sideara again. And I plan to preserve this feeling, and do with it everything that I can, which is to delve deeper into all of the passions I have and careers I am pursuing.

I'm about to leave to meet with someone about the video-lookbook for the dream NIN3 collection that almost exists. As per usual I am constantly reminding myself of essential rules and morals I taught myself right before high school, which can basically be summed up by "dgaf" and "do it for u". So I'm very excited to present a collection which core ideas will be just that.

And I'm excited to continue to grow and dgaf and do it for me and go at the pace that I am and know that no matter who is on board, I'm the captain of my own ship, so I'm going to continue to my destinations and enjoy the ocean breeze and all the whale sightings on the way.

 Feel me?

Love you.


Thursday, December 18, 2014

Oh, brother

WELL THE DRAMA IS GONE! And I'm feeling very overwhelmingly happy, and I think it's a mixture of this gorgeous rainy dreadweather and quitting cigarettes. I want to scream. Here are some random photobooth photos!
ok, now I really need to get to business and clean my apt.  Kimi (from tan camera)'s staying with me for a week or so!

Sunday, December 14, 2014


So I've been using this messenger app called Line, it's pretty popular in Japan but not a lot of people have it here, and funny enough even though I'm the worst at texting, Line is pretty easy to handle. Probably because they helpfully suggest emoji's in place of your words and because since less people have it, I have less to check and worry about. Anyways my friends hosted a party for Line which was a surprise because I didn't know Line was aware of my friends but hey that's the internet for you!!
Here are some of the photos from the party- the second time I've seen eardrummer-backwards dude live on accident haha. Photos by JWNY again! 
Pia wearing Damage because she's perfect
This girl from Freak City had an ipad dress that was blowing my mind, plus it was on camera the whole time so dead amazing
Natasha the babe in WIA
The preformance was cool but I'm not gonna lie u guys this party was pretty weird and terrifying
Sina & Palma
Sweet party favors though.
Pia & I, I'm impersonating the fan! Get it ?
Do u get it ?
Anyways I could post more photos from there but since I didn't stay for long or have the time of my life I don't think there's much of a point, but HEY check out the amazing earrings I'm wearing hey hey hey new NIN3!! So after this ended (which was pretty early, at like, 10), and I finally got Jawny out, we went to the Dripped party which honestly I'm not sure if there are any photos of but it was really fun!! There were indeed lots of my friends there, and it was relatively magical, although I was pretty drunk and confused for a lot of it and just chillin on the couches upstairs with Madeline being hit on by weird dudes and turning them down in silly ways. C'est la vie!! Going to a script reading now for Max Landis's new thingy and I'm nervous cause I have to do things like yell HELP ME! and such. Wish me luck!